But if you ask people like Desmond Tutu, Warren Buffett and Maya Angelou, success has a very different look and meaning."People who are enduringly successful -- not just successful because they've been on 'Survivor' or 'The Apprentice' -- have a cause bigger than themselves that they are committed to. They define success on their own personal terms, and have followed their passions," says Stewart Emery.Emery, Jerry Porras and Mark Thompson gained interviews with some of the world's most successful people for their new book, "Success Built to Last: Creating a Life That Matters," (Wharton, $22.99).Interviewing people such as Nelson Mandela, Sen. John McCain, Bono and Dave Barry, the authors found three common elements: "If you don't love what you do, then you'll lose to someone who does love it," Emery says. Desmond Tutu told the authors it is "natural to feel like hell when things turn out badly. But don't let that stop you. Emotions are a storm that sweeps through your life." Emery says that by learning from mistakes and moving on, successful people are propelled past the tough times. Notes Warren Buffett: "I always worry about people who say, 'You know, I'm going to do this for 10 years. I really don't like it very well, but I'll do 10 more years of this and . . .' I mean, that's a little like saving up sex for your old age. Not a very good idea."The authors contend that happiness comes from trusting your gut -- listening to the "silent scream" that nags you to respond.First, you must set big, bold goals that really capture your heart and call out to you. Don't worry if the path to these goals isn't straight. Many successful people talk about the twists and turns they took, and how they took advantage of serendipity.Finally, look at every interaction as a chance to build a partnership or long-term relationship."It's OK not to find the right fit in your profession right away, but you have to keep trying and never settle. When you find the right fit, everything changes," says Bill George, former Honeywell chief executive officer."If what you're doing doesn't turn you on, and if you're holding back what you have to say or contribute, that is not OK. You're not going to be willing to hear the bad news or the best ideas. You're not going to be successful."Others interviewed include Jimmy Carter, Steve Forbes, Quincy Jones and Condoleezza Rice. Emery says he was struck by how such people believed their success was tied to being committed to something bigger than themselves. They aligned their actions to what had true meaning for them, he says.Another enduring element, Emery says, is that the successful people interviewed didn't become mired in finger-pointing or blame.As Maya Angelou says in the book: "If I see something I don't like, I try to change it, and if I can't change it, I change my position of looking at it, and then by seeing it from a different angle, I might be able to change it; or I might find some good in it that I can use, which might make it change itself."

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